It is perfectly normal to feel ashamed and undeserving after the death of a loved one, especially if you have regrets about things you said or did (or didn't say or do). It is important to remember that you are not alone in these feelings. Many people experience guilt and shame after a loved one dies.

Here are a few things to keep in mind:

You are not responsible for your loved one's death. No matter what you did or didn't do, you could not have prevented their death.

Your loved one loved you. Even if you made mistakes, your loved one still loved you. They would not want you to feel ashamed or undeserving.

It is okay to forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. It is important to forgive yourself for any regrets you have.

You can honor your loved one's memory by living a good life. Your loved one would want you to be happy and to live your life to the fullest.

If you are struggling to cope with guilt and shame, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor. They can help you to process your feelings and develop healthy coping mechanisms.